Working Dog Humour
A Dogs eye view on Obedience!
HEEL ON LEAD: Walk as slowly as you can, then spring forward with all your weight. If your handler falls
flat on his or her face, you score 25 points.
RECALL: When your handler shouts at you, assume rock deafness. On no account sit in front of your handler, because he will only make you heel. 25 points if your handler loses his voice.
RETRIEVE the DUMBBELL: On no account fetch it back, because he will only throw it away again. If he wants the stupid piece of wood let him fetch it himself, you will be helping to train him not to throw away things he really wants. 5 points every time the handler gets the dumbbell.
SIT: Stay one inch away from the ground at the back end. This builds muscles and makes your rear legs stronger, which will help you pull your handler down on the HEEL ON LEAD.
The working Dog "If Only Poem" Author Unknown
If only my dog had stood on his stand, When I gave him the signal: A move of one hand.
If only he'd stayed on the one minute sit. Instead of deciding that 50 seconds was it.
A figure 8 perfect, I could almost boast; If only he'd gone round the other post.
If only he'd dropped on the signal I gave, And not when he saw the spectator wave.
The retrieve on the flat - he knew what to do; If only he'd brought back the dumbbell I threw.
The high jump retrieve - the only thing he lacked, And that dumbbell he didn't bring back.
On the broad jump, if only he'd jumped all the way, and not tiptoed between to my utter dismay.
When I signaled the glove it was there in plain sight; If only he'd gone for the glove that was right.
His go-out was perfect - he just went so far; If only he hadn't both times jumped the bar.
We'd have had a 200 - he could do everything, If only he hadn't run out of the ring.
Dogs Obedience multiple Choice Quiz! Author Unknown
Heel on lead means
A) Walk kinda behind your handler, always staying out of peripheral vision.
B) Have fun playing, this may include biting the lead, pants, or a playful nip to the heel of your handler.
C) This is really a towing exercise. Either tow your handler or be towed by them.
D) All of the above.
Figure Eight is for
A) Making friends with the posts.
B) Your last chance to play with the lead.
C) A good time to practice those Stays.
D) All of the above.
The Stand for Exam is for
A) Licking the judge.
B) Sleeping.
C) Checking out the audience and finding new folks you want to meet.
D) All of the above.
Heel Free means
A) Sniff until something interests you then wander away from your handler.
B) Time to meet those friendly people you had your eye on during the Stand.
C) Time to show your potential for Utility and do a "Go Out".
D) All of the above.
Recall means
A) Hummmmm I don't recall what this means better just sit here.
B) Run as fast as you can to your handler and jump on them.
C) Run to that spot that smelled so interesting and proceed to check it out.
D) Alternate all of the above responses.
Finish?
A) I'm almost am finished.
Stays are for
A) Twitching to freak out your handler.
B) Licking your parts. Like you are a guest on the Howard Stern Show.
C) This is a play time. I guess I'd better get started.
D) Just pick one or two of the above.
CD means
A) Nothing
B) Creative Dog
C) Confused Dog
D) Clueless Dog
Top ten ways to tell if you really like K-9 SAR: (Author Denise Blackman)
10) You begin to think of ticks as fellow searchers.
9) You sleep with your pager.
8) You shower with your pager.
7) You just spent your entire vacation slipping down hillsides, getting slapped in the face by poison oak, and scratched by brush; and this was your idea of fun.
6) You have your vehicle, dog and gear ready at all times, but you can't locate your work clothes.
5) You spend working hours fantasizing how you can become independently wealthy so you can search all the time.
4) When someone talks about 'searching the internet' you ask "did they call a dog-team?"
3) More of your co-workers know the name of your dog than know the name of your spouse.
2) Your Christmas list includes: an ammo box (for cadaver), 14 gauge wire (for your SAR-Tech II 24-hour pack), and a "super-screamer" whistle.
1) Your dog dances all around at the sight of your backpack, and you join him.
"Patience is the Virtue to Success."
Webmaster/Designer FARDOGART FOTO
Webmaster/Designer FARDOGART FOTO
